Transitions in First Person: Part 2

(originally posted on Velvet Park on July 9, 2009)

After all the planning, prepping and parties (of the going away variety), I find myself in sunny (and sort of ugly) Los Angeles, California.

Like all transitions, it was the getting here that was the most fun. I decided to take the cross country drive with my kid sister Amanda. There is a 15-year difference between us and this would be the longest, most continuous period of time that we have ever spent together. By the time she was born I was well into teen-hood, and by the time she could speak full sentences I was in college.

I actually don’t remember why I chose her to do the drive with me. Maybe a random conversation where we both agreed that driving across our great country was on our “bucket list.” I asked her to tag along several months before the actual trip and, as we all know, thousands of things can happen in several months: We had to change the departure date. I had to go through an unexpected panic of what to do with my house. I had to spend $1,000 that I hadn’t budgeted on getting my car “road ready.” I had to come to terms with the fact that I had really quit my job and was taking this major leap with no net in sight.

By the time I was a week out from the trip, I was feeling grumpy, overwhelmed and not sure I wanted to spend 10 hours a day in car with my perky, 20-something, Christian sister. Well, the Universe has a funny way of putting you exactly where you need to be with exactly who you need to be there with.

During the next five days, I would be able to cosign with Aaliyah – age really is just a number (unless of course a 27-year-old R. Kelly is trying to get in your panties at 15, then that’s just gross). But I digress. Turns out Amanda and I are more alike than I ever thought possible.
This barely 5’2″ IT tech for Marriott (Yup, we used her discount at every hotel.) was both low-key and a hoot. She was game for almost anything and even put up with my random F bombs. Her easy-going energy made it possible to talk to her about anything. Somewhere between Kentucky and Oklahoma I actually heard myself telling her about my sex life – in graphic detail. What the hell! I barely remember telling her I was gay 10 years ago. But she rolled with the punches and gave some great relationship advice. (Next week I will be reviewing a book that she recommended.)

There was just a lot of talking in general. We talked a lot about our world views (which weren’t that different from each other). We talked about our mother (She had a very different version of her than I had – that’s where the 15 years seemed to create the disparity regarding memories and methodology.). And we talked about our childhood religion verses the religion we had gravitated to as adults. Of all the siblings I worried about rejecting me when I came out, Amanda was definitely on top of the list. She was much more active in her church than my other sister Debyann and I was concerned she would use that experience to judge me or create a barrier between us. In reality, Amanda has been equally supportive of all my endeavors and respectful of my relationships and involvement in the LGBTQ community. I guess I was the one judging her by the company she keeps.

While on our nine-city tour, we came up with the great idea of recording a travelogue for the folks who were checking in on our progress back home. She initially was reluctant. She hates to have her picture taken and certainly never considered being in front of a camera. What she would discover is that she is quite the ham and might have a future gig on the Travel Channel.
We used our once in a lifetime opportunity to do some serious sightseeing. We checked out the Acoma Sky City Pueblo and Grand Canyon, ran into a singing cowboy and discovered that two women who, on the surface, seem to have nothing in common except our mother, were great travel companions.

I put her on a plane back to D.C. on Monday and I miss her company terribly. I had to drive 3,000 miles to discover someone who lived right around the corner.

Check out our travel videos (six installments in all). We promise tons of laughing, food and shout outs to Marriott.